Halo!

Ternyata gue lupa.. kalau gue punya blog. Hahaha 

Padahal di post terakhir, gue berniat untuk nulis tentang pregnancy tips and trick. Boro-boro kepikiran nge-post di blog, makan dan istirahat yang cukup saat hamil dulu aja udah suatu hal yang patut disyukuri buat gue. Bukan karena apa-apa sih, tapi dulu pas hamil, gue dapet project yang cukup hectic. Pulang jam 12 malem pun dengan kondisi hamil gede pernah gue alamin :)

Dulu, yang ada dibayangan, gue bisa share yang gue alamin selama kehamilan, cerita tentang persalinan anak pertama gue, berbagi tentang suka dukanya jadi mama baru, post tentang perkembangan anak pertama gue dari bulan ke bulan. Namun ternyata, percayalah, itu semua hanya diangan-angan. 

Enggak terasa ternyata udah setahun lebih lamanya gue menjadi seorang mama. Mama untuk Azkayra Varisha Indrawan, yang kita panggil dengan sebutan Kayra. Seru, ya, ternyata jadi seorang mama baru. Saking serunya, sampai sekarang pun gue belum balik kerja juga. Satu tahun belakangan ini betul-betul gue maksimalkan untuk main-main sepuasnya sama Kayra. Karena.. well, who knows, mungkin aja gue akan balik kerja dalam waktu dekat ini. 

Me and Him (Part 2)

(Read previous story here)

One day, the fight between my mind and my deep-heart brought me to Don Miguel Ruiz's book: The Mastery of Love. I did not sure how I ended up buying it and read it wholeheartedly. I was struck by his words many times. But I remembered one paragraph from the book that made me changed myself completely. He wrote:

In order to protect our emotional wounds, and because of our fear of being hurt, humans create something very sophisticated in the mind; a big denial system. In that denial system we become the perfect liars. We lie so perfectly that we lie to ourselves and we even believe our own lies.

That's it. I was facing a big denial system all this time. I did not open myself to him cause I was afraid he would hurt me in any way. I pulled myself away because I was afraid of my own feelings whether they were true or not. Don was true, I did not want to commit what I really felt because I was trying to protect my emotional wounds. But then I realized, how could I find the truth about us if I did not give it a shot? How if we were really meant for each other? How if we love each other much that we could build a strong family? Lots of "how if"s.

The how ifs made myself to finally open to him. I began to go out with him again - on a rather actual date :). We talked about what this relationship would go. We also agreed that we would take this into a serious level. Even though I was still 20 back then, I did realize that I did not want to take him only for granted. If he wanted this to be special, to be serious, then I wanted it to be the same too.

We decided to officially be an item on mid of August 2013. I found out a lot about him on our journey in getting to know each other. One thing I knew for sure back then, he was (and still is) the sweetest man I have ever found in my whole entire life - and no, I did not exaggerate this.

Me and Him (Part 1)

Since I started my relationship with my husband, I haven't got a chance to write about all the ups and downs we have been through anywhere. I was caught up with my office work and literally had no time for it. When we met new people in our lives, most of them asked quite the same questions. They mostly asked on "how did we know each other", "how did we get together", "how did we end up being married", and other similar questions. 

To answer all of the above questions, I'll dedicate this post to summarize my story with him. I'm just gonna make this post as cool as possible, cause I don't want to sound cheesy or annoyingly romantic. :)

It all began on June 2012 when I came into my client site for the first time. I was a new joiner in my company and just recently graduated from my university. As a new joiner, I was assigned to work under a supervisor, and that supervisor was him. Back then, I did not have any attention towards him, nor did he has any interest in me. That might be because he was still engaged with other woman and I seriously did not consider him to be my guy since I was totally not into a man with a woman. Besides, "love at first sight" or whatsoever was never been in my dictionary. However, my relationship with him was never a supervisor-supervisee kind of relationship, we were more like a best friend relationship - in a professional way of course. 

As days went by, I realized one thing that I was certain of; I felt utterly comfortable talking to him. He was such a nice man with his "famous" humble and smart opinions. I did say famous here because not only me who agreed that his opinions were gentle and humble, but others said the same thing too. 

Back Again

I started blogging when I was 15. Back then on 2008, I created one blogspot account just when I thought I need a place to freely express what I really felt. The blog was under the name of sentences-words-letters.blogspot.com and it was long gone. I deleted it once I decided to create a new blog on 2011. 

The 2011 blog was also long abandoned. I haven't posted anything yet since 2012, and instead of writing another post there, I chose to create this new one. I'm not gonna delete my second blog though, I'm gonna keep it for the sake of "memories".. you know.


Anyway, lots have changed from 2012 til now. Now, I'm not only a daughter and a big sister, but also.. a wife too. 

*WAIT.. WHAT???* 

Yup you heard me. I'm officially married on September 2014 and I'm now a wife of my loving and sweet (sometimes) husband. Like it or not, I'm even happier now when I'm with him - cause being married is surprisingly fun. I finally found someone to share the same hobbies with me, a long-life companion to cook, watch, and travel together. A partner, a friend and a brother who happens to have the same sense of humor as mine - that's the most important thing of all, doesn't it? How could we make our life a better one if we could't find a humor in it? 

As soon as I created this blog, I told myself that I'll always try to keep this blog updated. I abandoned my blogs twice and hopefully I'm not gonna leave this one again. I'm simply not making any promises here to myself, but I just need to keep in mind that "plis jangan jadi anak labil.".

Bye for now. 

Xoxo, 

Nidi